Esther’s Attempts at Suicide in The Bell Jar
Esther’s Attempts at Suicide in The Bell Jar
Esther is at an intense and confusing turning point in her life in The Bell Jar, and this is especially evident when she becomes deeply depressed after her trip to New York. Already burnt out from years of trying to stay ahead and still confused about her future, she comes home to the suburbs to stay with her mother. She then finds out she must stay there for the remainder of the summer because she did not get into a writing program she applied to, facing maybe the first rejection in her life. Suddenly, faced with an entire summer in the suburbs she hates, Esther becomes deeply suicidal, trying in many different ways to kill herself. However, each time she tries, no matter what method she uses, life prevails.
I think it is incredibly interesting to read this book knowing that the author went through some of these exact events in her own life and is writing from direct experience. The description of failed suicides are especially telling. She tries to get around her body’s survival measures, tries to end her life in any way possible, but each time she survives. Often there’s a struggle over her physical need to stay alive and her mental grasp for the end. For Esther, as a person who is used to always getting what they want, this recurring failure holds a great deal of irony.
For example, on one of her first attempts, she tries to kill herself by hanging, but she can’t seem to find a good place to do so (Plath 158).This happens again when she tries to kill herself by drowning, cut herself, strangle herself, and overdose, yet each time it doesn't work–each time her body or the world finds a way to keep her alive (Plath 153, 158 & 163). After her time in New York ending badly and her failure to get into the writing program meeting her the second she returned home, she decides to put an end to the sadness she has felt deep inside all along. In the context of the coming of age, she is effectively trying to cut short her coming of age, instead of going through the intense process. In a cynical way, she is unable to even do this, and, thankfully, this brings her to both Doctor Nolan and the private mental hospital which essentially, in our understanding as readers, brings her to her coming of age and, in a more optimistic look at the end of the book, saves her life.
Looking at this book as a story of recovery, I think it's telling that her inability to end her life helps her get to a point of a hopeful unknown and realization by the end of the book. She’s not even close to fully “cured” or “better” yet, but she seems less scared and numb by the time she reaches her interview with the board. In a weird way, fate somehow brings her exactly where she needs to go by the end of the book, and we as readers seem to be led to the conclusion that she is trying to move forward and learn from her experiences now. During all those scenes in the middle of the book, she tries to get out of her numbness in any way possible, yet the world seems to be holding her back in a poetic way. This book shows the power that continuing forward can have, and how it can take a convoluted and scary route for some people.
I find the idea of the mental and physical parallels between Esther's suicide attempts very interesting. The first time: A mental barrier. The second time: A physical barrier. It feels kinda eerie to think about how Sylvia's life unfolded with these ideas in mind. I do think that her inability each time signifies a greater change in her attitude and her coming of age as when she stands in front of the panel, she doesn't feel as scared. She seems to know she's a little stronger than where she was before. Nice blog post Praachi!
ReplyDeleteI had never thought of Esther's suicide attempts this way, but it definitely makes sense that because there was always something going wrong in her plan, she was able to get the support she needed later on from Dr. Nolan. I completely agree how ironic it is that after a life of always achieving her goals, it's now, with her most drastic and dangerous goals that she is failing. Also, I'm glad you looked at this book from a coming-of-age perspective because it's interesting that her active attempts to stop herself from coming of age were the reason she "came of age," after all.
ReplyDeleteHi Praachi! Your take on Esther's view of suicide was really interesting. It's definitely true that she sees it as a means of escape from her depression and numbness. I like that you describe her inability to die as something poetic; there is nothing quite philosophical to discuss in poetry like the concept of death, especially Esther's many attempts to do so. The coming of age aspect of The Bell Jar is a hard thing to describe, but I certainly agree that she gets there because of Doctor Nolan and the private institution that give her the resources to start feeling like something close to herself again. Great work!
ReplyDeleteI am always struck by the passages where Esther characterizes being alive as hearing the sound of her own heartbeat--*I am, I am, I am*. It nicely reflects the dynamic you describe here, where we see a jarring and distressing depiction of a mind that is in revolt against its body, and the body's will to survive. Plath describes the sound of her own heartbeat variously as a "boast" and a "taunt," and we see how her own biological life force or drive for survival is being subverted and attacked by her mind. Her mind is playing tricks on her, making her believe she is acting rationally when she is completely irrational. And the novel does a fantastic job of making clear how pernicious this dynamic can be: the plans to end her own life seem like the rational and reasonable course of action, and she focuses instead on the logistical and practical challenges. Once she's in the throes of this disorder, it's no longer a question of *whether* or *why* but *how*. She badly needs help, because her own mind can no longer be trusted: it is now in explicit conflict with her body.
ReplyDeleteHi Praachi, nice job analyzing Esther's inability to commit suicide. While you focused on how it was Esther's body that prevented her from killing herself, I also think that a small part of her also didn't want to throw everything away. I think she finds the act of killing to be difficult and wrong, such as with the Rosenbergs being executed, and can't bring herself to do the action to herself. Nice post!
ReplyDeleteHey Praachi!! Your views on Esther and her journey were really engaging to read! Your analysis about Esther's inability to end her own life as a way of her arriving at her final realization of herself really highlights the completely unique coming-of-age journey that other books don't address. I didn't exactly understand entirely why this book was so well liked but your blog helped me see just how astonishing this book really is. I really liked he consistent message of "life will prevail" throughout your blog.
ReplyDeleteHiya Praachi! The idea that Esther time and time again attempted to "cut short her coming of age" is super intriguing, and it's definitely a really good way to view her attempts, and subsequently her perseverance. Her coming of age journey is definitely unique in that she actively tried to go against it. Great post!
ReplyDeleteHi Praachi! It's super interesting how you mention the fact that Esther's "failure" to successfully commit suicide (one of the only failures she's ever faced) is the only reason she was able to experience a coming of age. Especially for a character like Esther who is so used to winning, it's interesting that her failure was such an integral part of her Coming of Age. This was really interesting and well written!
ReplyDeleteHey Praachi! I like how you talk about the relationship between Esther's recovery and her coming of age journey, and how she develops as a character over the course of the book. It's also interesting how every time she attempts, like you said, it's like the world is holding her back, which stands in contrast to what happens to Plath in real life. Great post!
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